Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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