worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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