by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
