My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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