why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i dont even know how to be here
My ATM looks so different sober.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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