I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
