So drunk its hurt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
