dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
