Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
