He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
