After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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