Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
