Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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