That's intense
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
