am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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