dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
