well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
