those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
