O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
