I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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