Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
