ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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