she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
