too bad you live with your parents still
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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