Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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