You left your underwear on the fireplace
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
