help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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