its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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