it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
