a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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