His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
