I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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