I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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