Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
