i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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