Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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