alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
