Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
