I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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