I think my vagina is haunted
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
