please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
