Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
