Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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