I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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