i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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