So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
