by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
