I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
