the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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