i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
