Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize