but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
