Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
