Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
