I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
