We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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