Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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