Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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