I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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