Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
