its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
