u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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