i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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